We start out with an introduction to Rumplestiltskin's scumbag cheater father. Young! Rumple is innocent and has a lisp, that's about all I can say for him character wise. He wants his father to be honest and good, etc. etc. Eventually Rumple's father promises to "get a job" and deposits his son with these two.
What the heck, are these the dad's lesbian sister and her girlfriend? We're not told who, and that really seems like the most plausible answer. Rumple's father gives him the doll we saw him find on Neverland and he names it Peter Pan. Dad promises to be "right back".
Meanwhile, in Neverland, Neal reveals the prophecy that says a child will be Rumplestiltskin's downfall, and everyone (including Hook, for some reason) freaks out that Rumple wants to murder Henry and tell him how that is one-thousand percent never going to happen. Also they pose like this:
Are you kidding me, people? If the man really wanted Henry dead he could have done it a hundred different ways, and without getting any of you involved. Seriously, get a load of yourselves.
Fairytale land:
WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU GIVE THAT PORTAL BEAN TO A CHILD? What is wrong with adults in this universe? The Blue Fairy did the same thing to Baelfire, and it's just generally a horrible idea. They're just children, and you want to send them careening off to some unknown world? What is your problem?
Instead of taking that horrible advice Rumple goes to find his father, who apparently used to dream of a place called Neverland. He thinks that sounds like a great place to go back to. Clearly the Neverland he was dreaming about is a lot different from the one we know now, or he's just way messed-up. I have a feeling it's the latter.
Neverland, present day. The gang storms the camp and finds that Wendy is one cold-hearted chick. "Oh, yeah, Henry's gonna die and Pan will be all-powerful and immortal. Nbd." You do realize those are bad things, right, Wendy? While she's busy not caring and trying to hit on Neal, Pan and Henry are on their way to Skull Rock in a rowboat. The whole scene screams Dumbledore and Harry at the end of Half-blood Prince.
When the good guys follow Emma runs into a magic protection shield. Regina throws fire at it, which bounces right back at her. Good thinking, Regina. Rumple: "Pan's magic is too powerful. At least for you." *slinks through like the sassy bastard he is*
Because he doesn't have a shadow he can get through. *EPIC INCEPTION LIKE MUSIC PLAYS*
Did Pan seriously cast a spell keeping "people with shadows" out? You'd think he could make it DNA specific or anything that couldn't be defeated by Emma and Regina doing this:
It blocks out their shadows, don'tcha know.
So it turns out that in the past Rumple's father abandons him to the creepy shadow in order to stay in Neverland and be young forever in the form of Peter Pan. Now Rumple confronts Pan. What a weird scene this must have been for Robert Carlyle and Robbie Kay to film.
Although claiming he "never forgot" about his son, Pan still traps him in Pandora's Box. A+ parenting.
We see in a flashback that the shadow dropped him off at the lesbian couple's house.
Meh, could be worse. His dad (newly shrunk into Peter Pan form) flies to Skull Island and exclaims "A giant skull. It's glorious!" How was this guy not locked up for being a serial killer or something?
"Neverland is a place for children to visit in their dreams." --the Shadow
More like in their nightmares-- it's not exactly a Disney sing-a-long here.
Peter Pan the psychopath convinces Henry to pull out his own heart. Henry is not the least bit disturbed to do so. His family rushes in and starts yelling at him to NOT HELP THE EVIL DUDE BECOME ALL POWERFUL. Henry tells them they don't understand what heroes are, or something like that, and gives Pan his heart. AWESOME CHOICE, HENRY. WAY TO BE NOT STUPID.
All in all this episode was one of the best this season, but I don't think I want Henry saved.
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